
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/705009.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M, F/F
  Fandom:
      Supernatural
  Relationship:
      Dean_Winchester/Sam_Winchester
  Character:
      Dean_Winchester, Sam_Winchester, John_Winchester
  Additional Tags:
      POV_First_Person, Crossdressing, Genderswap, Blow_Jobs, Barebacking,
      Teenage_Winchesters, Stanford_Era, Car_Sex, Shower_Sex
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-03-02 Chapters: 30/30 Words: 7233
****** 30 Days ******
by lostinmymindforever
Summary
     A look at the ever growing love between Sam and Dean
Notes
     written using the 30 Day OTP challenge on Tumblr
***** Chapter 1 *****
Day 1 - holding hands
We’re running from something. I’m not even sure what it is that’s chasing us.
All I know for certain is that as long as I hold onto Dean’s hand everything
will be okay. We run and run until it seems like we can’t run anymore, and then
we run some more. We run until both of us are breathing heavy and my legs are
giving out, and even then I never let go.
Dean’s cell phone rings, Dad telling him it’s safe, that we can meet up with
him, that whatever that was is dead now and we’re safe. We walk back to where
the Impala is parked, both of us exhausted, the adrenaline rush finally over.
Dad is leaning against the side, bruised and battered, and yet smiling that we
are safe. His smile falters when he sees our fingers interlocked.
I hadn’t even realized we were still holding hands.
***** Chapter 2 *****
Day 2 - cuddling somewhere
It’s cold and windy and the furnace went out about an hour ago. Thankfully the
house we are staying in has a fireplace. Dean built us a fire to warm up by
after Dad went out to try and find someone to fix the furnace as the phone
isn’t working right now. Dean’s pulled all the blankets from around the house,
making a warm nest in front of the blaze.
I’m bundled up in layers, and still I am shaking with cold. Dean reaches over
to me, pulling me into his arms, and I let myself relax against him. No matter
what Dean always is able to fix things, make things good for me. I curl against
him, and realize he’s shaking with cold just as much as I am if not more. And
yet he doesn’t complain, just holds me against his chest, murmuring nonsense
words, trying to get me warm.
We fall asleep, cuddled together, and that is how Dad finds us. The look he
gives us speaks volumes, distaste, anger, regret, and yet he never speaks of
what he’s thinking, never voices what goes through his mind when he sees us
like this. He doesn’t have to say the words, I already know how he feels about
me and Dean, he thinks we’re too close, that I cling to Dean too much. I’d move
out of Dean’s arms, but I’m tired and warm for the first time in a long time.
Let Dad deal.
***** Chapter 3 *****
Day 3 - gaming/watching a movie
Bobby and Dad are in the kitchen going over research and Dean and I are sitting
in the living room watching an old movie on TV. I’m not even sure what the
movie is about anymore, too caught up in peeking over at Dean every few
minutes. There’s a blanket over our laps and Dean has my hand in his, hidden
from our father’s watchful gaze.
Dad would have a major issue if he could see how our fingers are linked, the
way Dean is gently rubbing my palm, distracting me, making it hard for me to
concentrate on anything but him. If Dad and Bobby weren’t here I know that we
wouldn’t have to use this ruse, I’d be on Dean’s lap, kissing him softly,
tenderly as he ran his hands down my lap. I want to rest my head on his
shoulder, but I don’t, I can’t, not now.
I look back at the screen, smiling at the scene in front of me. Dean picked one
of my favorite movies, so if, no when, Dad asks, I can tell him what it was
about. Dean winks at me, turning his face back towards the screen.
***** Chapter 4 *****
Day 4 - on a date
We’re sitting on a blanket, Dean’s arm around my shoulders as we watch the
fireworks overhead. I lean back, resting my head on his shoulder, loving this
chance to just be with him. As far as everyone around us knows we’re just two
guys out on a date, taking a much needed break together. I wish we could be
like this all the time, I wish we didn’t have to hide, wish that we could date
more, but I’ll take what I can.
Dean tilts my head towards his, laying a gentle kiss on my lips. I grin as we
pull apart, smiling up at the sky, pretending we are just a normal couple for a
little while longer before we have to hide once more.
***** Chapter 5 *****
Day 5 - kissing
We’re all alone for the first time in what seems like forever. Dean and I are
on the couch, well more like Dean is on the couch and I am on his lap, my arms
wrapped around his neck, our lips joined in a kiss. It’s slow and unhurried,
unlike our more recent kisses which have been rushed, mere brushes of our lips,
stolen kisses whenever Dad wasn’t looking. But we’re alone, so we can take our
time, slowly exploring each other’s mouths, touching, tasting, savoring.
Dean’s hands are almost petting me, his fingers tangling in my hair. I know he
loves my hair a little longer, that’s why I’ve been letting it grow, for him,
no matter how impractical it is in our line of work. I arch against him as he
kisses my throat, never marking like I want him to, like he wants to, both of
us wishing things were different and we didn’t have to hide this. His lips find
mine again in a soft, gentle caress.
It’s almost perfect.
***** Chapter 6 *****
Day 6 - wearing each other’s clothes
Call it a mix up when putting away our clothes, call it just grabbing the first
thing to wear while still mostly asleep, whatever the cause, Dean and I ended
up wearing each others shirts. And by time either of us was awake enough to
realize it we were already in the car on our way to school. Dean’s shirt is so
baggy on me, feels like I’m wearing a dress almost. And the t-shirt of mine he
is wearing is so tight it shows off everything.
I’m glad we have different lunch times, because I know I’d be distracted by his
chest all throughout lunch otherwise, and might just snap and do something
completely unbrotherly to him in front of the entire school. The memory is
enough to send me to the bathroom to jackoff halfway through homeroom, and just
my luck, Dean is already there, as if he’s waiting for me, as if he knew what
was on my mind and where I’d be.
He locks the door behind me, kissing me roughly, his hand snaking down the
front of my pants, touching, teasing. I moan into the kiss, arching into his
touches, my hand inside of his pants tormenting him as he’s tormenting me.
“Dean, please,” I moan into the kiss, and he knows exactly what I’m asking for.
His hand moves faster along my flesh, done teasing, intent on making me come
for him. I bite down on his shoulder, stifling the loud yell that wants to fall
from my mouth.
As soon as I start to calm down, Dean shoves me to my knees. I willingly go,
taking him in my mouth, my motions fast, knowing, just enough to get him off
quickly. He pulls me up, kissing me swiftly, tasting himself in my mouth. I
grin at him and he gives me a wink before walking to the door, smiling over his
shoulder as he leaves me.
***** Chapter 7 *****
Day 7 - cosplaying
Sometimes I wonder why I let Dean talk me into these things, and then I
remember, I’d do anything for him, no matter how silly it seems. We’re dressed
up in these ridiculous outfits; Dean dressed as Han Solo, me dressed as Luke
Skywalker. There’s a crowd around us, a lot of them dressed up in similar
fashion. I don’t understand it, but the smile on Dean’s face makes it all the
worth while.
I don’t even know how long we’ve been standing here, outside the theater,
waiting for the doors to open and let us in. All these girls keep coming up to
Dean, flirting with him, and I start to get annoyed. He notices my discomfort,
wrapping an arm around my shoulder. He gives me this little kiss, the one that
speak volumes of all the things he wants to do to me later in private and my
annoyance seems to vanish. I hear catcalls and look over to a trio of girls
dressed up as Princess Leia winking at us, giving us thumbs up, and generally
looking at the two of us like we are the most adorable thing in the world.
I can’t help but grin.
***** Chapter 8 *****
Day 8 - shopping
We’re at the mall, both of us annoyed at the crowd surrounding us. But it was
either this or not have any clothes to wear, as somehow every single article of
clothing we own, save for the clothes on our back, went missing. As usual Dean
seems to have attracted a crowd of female followers. He doesn’t seem to notice
though, too involved in searching through the clearance racks for things he
would actually wear.
This cute little thing wearing the tiniest of skirts and a shirt almost illegal
for being out in public in walks over to the rack we are looking through. She
shoves herself in between Dean and I, practically shoving her ample chest in
his face. Dean gives her an annoyed glare, moving to the other side of me. She
doesn’t seem to get the hint, moving so she’s on his other side, going as far
as to rest her hand on his arm, flirting up a storm.
Dean rolls his eyes, pulling me against his side, whispering loudly how much he
wants to drag me to the dressing room and give me a blow job. The girl stares
at us, her mouth dropped in shock. She walks away muttering about stupid fags
and Dean flips her off, which of course makes her storm back over and slap him
across the face. Dean doesn’t have to do anything, as security saw her slap him
and come over, leading her away from us. The clerks apologize to us for her
rudeness, but Dean just shrugs, she’s already forgotten in his mind.
By the time we are finished we’ve replaced our wardrobes and Dean has dragged
me off into a dressing room and given me one hell of a blow job. Of course when
we get back our missing clothes have mysteriously reappeared and Dean groans
with frustration. I give him a blow job then let him fuck me in the shower,
which cheers him up.
***** Chapter 9 *****
Day 9 - hanging out with friends
We’re in a new town, around new people, and for the first time in a long time
Dean didn’t introduce us as brothers. It helps that it’s summer and we don’t
have school. As far as the people in this town know we’re just boyfriends, and
everyone’s been pretty cool about it. Dad’s gone, again, but it doesn’t really
faze us, not anymore.
The AC in our motel room died so we decided to go to the nearby lake. We ran
into a couple of the guys we met in town and they invited us to join them for a
picnic. Of course we’re asked about how we met, how long we’ve been together,
and we tell our new friends lies that are close enough to the truth that we can
tell them easily. By the time the sun started going down we had wasted the
whole day, lounging around the lake, rough housing, generally just hanging out.
It seems odd that doing that was something we really hadn’t done before, but
with our lives it was unusual. We’ll be gone by the end of the month, so Dean
and I plan on making the most of it while we can. We’ll pretend to be normal
for a little while longer before we have to go off and risk our lives once
more.
***** Chapter 10 *****
Day 10 - with animal ears
I can’t help but laugh. Dean is looking at me, pissed beyond belief. This
wasn’t my fault, I’m not the one who pissed off whatever that thing was. Oh no,
that was all Dean. And now, now Dean has these two furry little cat ears
perched on the top of his head. I resist the urge to go up and scratch them,
Dean would kill me.
Dad and Bobby are currently hunting the thing down, they seemed to know exactly
what it was the minute we showed back up.
Dean gets in my face, hand pulling my hood down. His face goes from angry to
amused in an instant, and he begins laughing, the bastard. I run to the mirror
and stare in horror at the fox ears currently sprouting out of the top of my
head. This is all Dean’s fault. Dean reaches over, gently running his fingers
along the furry ears and I can’t help the moan that falls from my lips.
I’m on him in a flash, clothes being tossed to the ground, my legs wrapped
around him. He keeps touching them, sending shocks of pleasure down my spine. I
reach up and begin to stroke his, causing him to moan and gasp. We barely
notice when the ears disappear, too distracted by his cock buried inside of me,
my hands scratching down his back.
***** Chapter 11 *****
Day 11 - wearing kigurumis
I don’t know how we got talked into wearing these ridiculous getups. Dean looks
just as confused and annoyed. I think it has something to do with the shots and
the beers that we were drinking and the pleading looks on the girls faces. I
gotta admit, only Dean can make being dressed up in what is basically a hooded
pajama version of Tigger look hot.
I on the other hand look ridiculous in my get up, some sort of dog thing, I
don’t even know. The girls are giggling, snapping pictures of us. I look over
at Dean, rolling my eyes, silently begging him to get us out of here, get us
out of these things, but Dean just gives that frustrating little smirk of his,
the one that says not only does he know I’m uncomfortable but he’s enjoying it.
Just see how he’s gonna like it when I withhold sex tonight, well withhold
until he apologizes at least.
***** Chapter 12 *****
Day 12 - making out
We’re in the backseat of the Impala, I’m straddling Dean’s lap. His hands are
in my hair, holding my face to his as he attacks my mouth. It’s been days since
we’ve had any time alone, days since we could kiss like this. I’m kissing him
back just as aggressively, relearning his taste, remapping his mouth.
He runs a hand down my back, resting it on my ass, shoving me lightly closer to
him. I grind down, cock thrusting against his as our mouths duel. We only pull
apart long enough to catch our breaths before moving in for another kiss,
moving against each other, both of us hard and ready. We don’t have time for
more than this, this will have to do.
I unzip our pants, opening them just enough so we can have skin on skin, both
of us trying to reach completion quickly. We don’t know when we’ll be able to
do this again, so we move as one, connected lips and at the groin, thrusting
and grinding until we are both panting and moaning, my cum covering his chest,
his cum mixed with mine.
We barely have enough time to tuck ourselves back in and separate, Dean pulling
his shirt back on and hopping into the front seat, before our dad walks out of
the bar, shaking his head in annoyance. Hopefully Dad won’t notice the hickie I
left on Dean’s neck, nor the matching one I know I wear.
***** Chapter 13 *****
Day 13 - eating ice cream
Another hot, sticky day, another motel with an AC that just doesn’t want to
work. Dean went out and got us ice cream, something to cool us down.
Unfortunately it seems to be having the opposite affect on me. I shift in my
seat uncomfortably, watching as Dean licks at his ice cream cone, his tongue
moving almost obscenely over the cold treat.
I can’t help the moan that falls from my mouth, and Dean looks at me, grinning.
It only makes him do it even more seductively, until I am hard as a rock and
almost begging him to come and fuck me. He shakes his head, telling me no play
until I finish my treat. I down it fast, too fast, my head screaming with pain,
but even that isn’t enough to cool down my libido.
Dean finishes his slowly, licking his lips when he’s done. He gives me that
look, that one that says he’s gonna make me his little bitch, and I moan. He’s
on me in an instant, pressing me to the bed, kissing and touching me, licking
me like he had licked that stupid ice cream cone.
***** Chapter 14 *****
Day 14 - genderswapped
I wake up like normal, make my way into the bathroom sleepily and scream as I
see myself in the mirror. My hair is down past my shoulders, barely covering my
breasts. I look down, and sure enough, boobs. Dean rushes into the bathroom,
obviously concerned.
My jaw drops. Dean, like me, is a girl. He has this long dark blonde hair and
these perfect high tits. I can’t help myself. I lean forward, licking one of
his perky little nipples. He moans, looking down as if realizing that he too is
a girl.
I’m pulled into the bedroom, shoved onto the bed. Dean’s on top of me, hands
caressing my soft, curvy flesh. We really should figure out how this happened,
but right now we’re too distracted in learning each other’s new forms.
It isn’t long before Dean’s between my legs, face buried in my crotch, making
me moan and beg and tremble. I cum hard, harder than I can remember coming.
It’s odd coming as a girl, different than what I’m used to, but still oh so
good. Dean keeps up what he was doing, and soon, so damn soon I am coming
again, my body shaking violently as my orgasm rips through me.
When I’m done, when my breathing levels out I return the favor.
***** Chapter 15 *****
Day 15 - in a different clothing style
I can’t help but stare at Dean as he walks out of the bathroom. He’s dressed in
a school uniform, black slacks, button down shirt, sweater vest, tie, dress
shoes. I’m wearing the same thing, this hunt has us undercover in a private
school, and Dean and I have to dress the part. I can barely contain myself,
Dean looks like sin incarnate. All I can think about is dragging him by that
tie into a closet and kissing him stupid, shoving him against the wall,
dropping to my knees and blowing him.
Dean gets this little glint in his eyes, and I know he’s thinking the same damn
thing. Maybe this won’t be so bad. And maybe I can convince him to hold onto
the outfit, for when we have more alone time.
***** Chapter 16 *****
Day 16 - during their morning rituals
I’m barely awake, it’s too early in my opinion, especially after how late I got
to sleep last night. I stand in front of the mirror, yawning as I brush my
teeth. Dean’s crowded in next to me, shaving. I don’t have to shave yet, but am
pretty sure it’s gonna happen soon. Dean gently bumps into me, grinning as he
finishes. I’m done brushing my teeth by now and look at him with a grin.
Dean moves until his back is against the door, shoving down his boxers. I get
on my knees before him, taking him into my mouth. Dean’s hand moves to the back
of my head, fingers entwining in my hair. He fucks my mouth, muttering filth,
just like he does every morning. My knees and mouth are sore by the time he
pulls me off of him, pulling me to my feet, moving me to stand in front of the
sink. I grab the cool porcelain as he shoves down my boxers. He enters me
swiftly, I’m still slick and stretched from last night. He fucks me hard and
fast, mouth on my shoulder, one hand wrapped around my cock, jacking me in time
with he thrusts.
I bite my lip until it’s almost bloody, needing to stay silent. I can’t let Dad
hear this, can’t let Dad know Dean and my morning tradition. I tilt my head to
the side, silently begging Dean to kiss me. We kiss, swallowing each others
moans as we come. I lick my cum off of Dean’s hand, then turn back to the
mirror.
I pick up my brush and comb my hair quickly, swatting Dean on the ass before
leaving the bathroom. Dad’s waking up in his bed, and I walk by him, pouring
out two bowls of cereal before Dean steps out of the bathroom, dressed and
ready for school.
***** Chapter 17 *****
Day 17 - spooning
On a scale of 1 to 10 of suckiness, today would have to be an 11. Not only was
it the first day at a new school, but it was the first time Dean wasn’t there
with me. I was instantly picked out as the person to be picked on, and the day
was complete and utter hell. To top that off I had to walk back to our motel
and it started pouring about halfway back.
By the time I got back I was wet and miserable, missing Dean, wishing that I
didn’t have to do this. Dean was already back from his part time job by the
time I walked in the door, and he could tell I was upset. He helped me out of
my soaked clothes, drying me off with a towel and helping me into my sleep
clothes.
We weren’t going anywhere tonight and I was grateful for that fact. I flopped
down on the bed, burying my face into the pillows, wanting to just disappear. I
felt Dean crawl onto the bed, and as much as I love him, right then I just
wasn’t in the mood for our usual afternoon fun. But Dean seemed to know what my
mood was, and rather than try and start anything he just pulled me against his
chest, wrapping his arms around me. He held me like that for what felt like
hours, me leaning against his chest, his hands gently rubbing my stomach,
holding me tight, secure.
I fit in his arms, fit against him as if we were two perfectly matched puzzle
pieces, fit snuggly together. I hope I never get too big for this, too big that
he can no longer wrap himself around me, covering me, surrounding me with love
and security.
***** Chapter 18 *****
Day 18 - doing something together
Dean’s leaning over me, his hands moving along my back, rubbing at sore and
tired muscles. I never thought I would ever grow to hate school, but right now,
with a backpack filled with heavy books, I kinda loath it. My shoulders and
back are killing me. I’m used to carrying a lot, weapons, whatnot, but it seems
that my stupid textbooks double in weight the second I put them into my
backpack.
Dean always does this for me if we’re alone, massages my tired aching muscles
as soon as I get home. It starts innocent, his hands kneading at my flesh,
working out knots, relaxing me. But like always it soon becomes something more.
My cock is aching, pushed against the mattress as Dean works his hands along my
body. I let out a little moan and Dean knows how turned on I am right now. I
don’t have to see his face to know he’s grinning down at me, I just know him
that well.
I’m still half dressed, my pants are rubbing me uncomfortably, and Dean seems
to understand my frustration. He flips me over gently, kissing me softly as he
unbuckles my belt, opening the button on my jeans and lowers the zipper. He
yanks my pants off of me, then my underwear, leaving me naked before him.
Dean smiles at me before telling me to turn back over. I do. I know what’s to
come, and my body thrums with want. Dean begins to knead and stroke my ass
cheeks, and I moan in anticipation of what I know is coming next. He doesn’t
waist much time, kneeling between my spread legs, mouth kissing and licking
down my cheeks. He grabs them with his hands, pulling me open for him.
The first touch of Dean’s tongue sends shocks of pleasure through me, making me
moan even louder. He teases me open, makes me wet for him. His fingers join his
tongue, and he stretches me with practiced ease, knowing just what I like. I
moan in protest when he stops, whimpering with loss, but he shushes me. I cry
out with pleasure when I feel the head of his cock brushing against my hole.
My body is so relaxed, so ready for him that he enters me fully in one motion,
both of us gasping at the sensation. He fucks me slowly, and I rock back into
each and every thrust, wanting to make this last, needing to make this as good
for him as he’s making it for me. I almost come completely off the bed when he
reaches under me, wrapping his hand around my hard cock.
After only a few strokes I am coming, covering his hand, the sheets under me.
Dean groans, his orgasm hitting him. I can feel him inside me, pulsing and
twitching, filling me with his seed, and part of me wishes we could stay like
this forever, Dean inside me.
***** Chapter 19 *****
Day 19 - in formal wear
There’s this stupid dance I have to go to for school and I really don’t want to
go. The only good part of it is that Dean agreed to be my date. I’m sitting in
our room, dressed in this stupid rented suit, waiting for Dean to get back.
He refused to change in front of me, telling me that if this was going to be a
date he was going to do it right. I wait impatiently, playing with my tie,
running my fingers through my hair. There’s a knock at the door and I go to it,
curious. Dean’s standing outside, dressed in a suit of his own, looking like an
invitation to sin. My jaw drops, and I get hard. Dean in a suit has to be one
of the hottest things I have ever seen.
He’s holding flowers in his hands, and I grin. Dean can be such a dork
sometimes. He swallows hard as he looks me over, leaning in to give me a small
kiss. But of course since it’s Dean and I that kiss doesn’t stay small or
chaste for long. And all too soon we are in bed, me riding Dean’s hard cock.
We never do make it to the dance.
***** Chapter 20 *****
Day 20 - dancing
Dean has his arms wrapped around my waist, mouth on my neck as we sway to the
music. There are so many people around us, almost touching, but not quite. I’m
molded against Dean’s body, head thrown back onto his shoulder. Both of us are
shirtless, sweaty in the heat of the crowded dance floor.
Dean grinds against my ass, a promise of what is to come when we leave here. I
can’t help but thrust my ass against him, teasing him just as bad as he’s
teasing me. The music is deafening, but we don’t need to hear, we speak without
words, knowing each other so well that it doesn’t matter that we can’t hear. A
slower song comes on and Dean turns me in his arms. I wrap my arms around his
neck, rocking with him in time with the music. It’s like we’re the only people
there at that moment, me and Dean, locked in our eternal dance of love and
devotion.
***** Chapter 21 *****
Day 21 - cooking/baking
I don’t know why we’re doing this, neither of us can cook, but Dean got the
idea in his head and now we’re stuck doing this. It was actually a lot easier
than I thought it would be, making the brownie mix. I’m not sure where Dean got
the pot, not gonna ask him about that. Both of us are covered in flour, due to
a fight we had after I accidently spilled some on him. But I can’t help but
smile.
It’s oddly domestic, the two of us in the cramped little kitchen, baking
together. I won’t tell Dean how adorable he looks wearing the stupid frilly
apron he found, I’m not dumb. But this, this simple little act, brings a small
pain to my heart. We’ve never done this before, never got the chance to do
anything so simple and mundane. I love it, love the way it makes Dean smile, so
I’ll keep it to myself.
***** Chapter 22 *****
Day 22 - in battle, side-by-side
This is nothing new, Dean and I fighting for our lives, standing together, him
defending me, me defending him. It’s part of us, ingrained into our very
beings, as if all we are are weapons against the dark. Dean has his shotgun in
hand, I have my blades. I can’t help but wonder if this will be the last time,
the one bad night that ends everything.
I push those thoughts aside, slashing at the creatures moving to attack me,
trusting instinctively that Dean has my back, that he’ll protect me. I can hear
him firing, the shotgun’s blast almost deafening. We’re both panting, tired,
scared, and still we fight. Dad and Bobby aren’t far from us, battling off the
seemingly endless horde of monsters. I don’t know how much longer I can do
this. How much longer I can take this endless cycle of death and destruction.
***** Chapter 23 *****
Day 23 - arguing
I’m pissed. Pissed at Dad, pissed at Dean for taking his side once again. I
can’t do this, this constant battle against the dark is taking it’s tole on me,
breaking me apart from the inside. Can’t Dad see what this is doing to me? What
it’s done to Dean?
We’ve never had a chance, not really. People our age should be worrying about
dating and what college they are going to go to, not researching how to kill
whatever nasty thing we come across. Dean can’t see how badly this is affecting
me, how I’ve been having nightmares almost every night, waking up screaming
silently. He only sees the hunt, the mission, like Dad, and it kills me.
I walked out on him tonight, too angry to spend any time with him. Dad took
off, won’t be back until morning at the earliest. It hurts, hurts that Dean
doesn’t see how this kills me. I almost hit Dean and that’s when I made up my
mind. I have to leave. I can’t... I don’t trust myself, not now, not anymore. I
want to hurt him, smack some sense into him, show him how bad this is to me,
but I can’t. We were screaming in each others faces, hateful words.
I said things I regret, things I didn’t mean, but the look on Dean’s face, as
if I stabbed him in the heart, broke mine.
***** Chapter 24 *****
Day 24 - making up afterwards
I’m in the park, sitting on the swing. I’ve been crying, hurt, upset, angry at
myself for what I said. Dean walks up to me, he knows me too well. He doesn’t
say anything, not right away, only coming to stand in front of me, grabbing the
chains of the swing, stopping it. He opens his arms and I fall into them, on
the verge of breaking down once more.
I keep repeating over and over again how sorry I am, begging him to forgive me.
He kisses me softly, asking me to forgive him. I do, how can I not, he’s Dean.
He tells me that all is forgiven, that he loves me, that everything will be
okay, somehow. And I believe him. He takes me by the hand, leading me to our
little spot under one of the trees. We sit there, in silence, Dean’s arm around
my shoulder, for what seems like a small eternity.
I’m yawning by the time we stand to leave, exhausted from the fight, from the
day I had, from everything. I want to sleep forever. But when Dean kisses me
softly as we enter the room, I can’t help but melt into his arms. Our clothes
land on the floor in a heap, and Dean makes love to me into the early morning.
We get into our night clothes and curl around each other, and that’s how Dad
finds us when he stumbles in in the morning.
***** Chapter 25 *****
Day 25 - gazing into each others eyes
If there’s one thing I love more than pretty much anything else it’s Dean’s
eyes. I remember how I would stare into them for hours as a child, lost in
their green depths. I still find myself staring into them, sometimes at the
worst possible moment.
Getting caught staring at my brother’s eyes in the middle of a diner by my
father is one of those times. He gives a noise of discomfort, which makes both
of us look away guiltily. The glare on his face is directed at Dean, and I hate
the fact that whenever he starts to figure things out about us he automatically
blames Dean, as if I have no say in what we do. He’s about to say something
when our waitress arrives with our coffees, and by the time Dad is done talking
to her we’re doing it again.
Dad gives a heavy sigh, and drops it for now.
***** Chapter 26 *****
Day 26 - getting married
I don’t know where we’re going, but by the grin on Dean’s face wherever it is
is going to be good. We’ve been driving for hours now, and Dean’s been
surprisingly quiet. My mind is racing, wondering exactly what’s going on, but I
can wait. Whatever Dean has in mind will be good, I trust him on that fact.
We pull into a parking spot by a forest, there are a few cars parked near where
we park. Dean laces our fingers together, leading me into the forest, to a
clearing filled with people dressed in long robes that are moving gently in the
breeze. I’m confused, but Dean still has that little grin on his face. A woman
approaches us and I vaguely remember her, a priestess of some sort that we met
almost a year prior.
She has a grin on her face, greeting us warmly before handing us both robes of
our own to wear. Dean’s looking nervously at me, this look that speaks volumes,
as if he’s worried that I’ll say no to whatever we’re here to do. But I follow
his lead, taking off my clothes, slipping on the soft garment. We make our way
back towards the others, other than the priestess all couples if I am correct.
When she starts to speak I understand. I grin at Dean, leaning in to kiss him
softly. There are words, words of devotion, words of binding, words of unity.
Our marriage will never be legal, but to us, to my beloved Dean and I, it’s
forever, binding us in the eyes of these others, these strangers who accept us
as we are, Sam and Dean forever entwined.
***** Chapter 27 *****
Day 27 - on one of their birthday’s
The alarm goes off and I glare angrily, sleepily in it’s direction, too tired
to move to turn off the offending noise. Dean kisses me softly, urging me to
get up. I don’t want to, too comfortable in my bed, warm and content. The only
thing that would make this better is if Dean crawled back in next to me.
Dean continues to pester me until I finally wake. He’s grinning, that look that
always speaks trouble and mischief. Before I can question him he’s holding out
a wrapped box to me. And that’s when it hits me, what today is. I sit up,
opening the package slowly. It’s photo album, filled with photos and little
mementos of my 18 years of life. Next to each photo is a little note scrawled
in Dean’s handwriting, a little story to go along with each image.
I tear up a bit, the present is perfect, a collection of our lives together. I
can see it in photographic proof, when we fell in love, when we actually acted
on our feelings for the first time, our ups, our downs, our wedding. Dean
kisses me softly, wishing me a happy birthday. I can’t help the smile that’s on
my face the rest of the day, or the grin I get when Dean pulls out a disposable
camera, snapping some photos of us. I know they’ll be added to our book,
because it’s not just my life it chronical’s, but both of ours.
We spend most of the day in bed together, touching and tasting, marking and
claiming. We’re caught at one point by Dad, but he doesn’t yell, doesn’t scream
like I feared he would. He gives this sad little look, like he’s resigned to
the fact that Dean and I are inseparable, that no matter how hard he fights it
he can never pull us apart. There are worse ways to celebrate a birthday.
***** Chapter 28 *****
Day 28 - doing something ridiculous
I’m trying not to laugh as I watch Dean get ready in front of the mirror, a
serious look on his face as he applies his eyeliner. Dean actually looks
somewhat good like this, dressed in a short little skirt, his legs encased in
fishnet stockings, a tight shirt over a stuffed bra, long blonde wig on his
head. It reminds me of that time we were girls for a couple of days, and I have
to think of something else, anything to stave off the hardon I know I want to
sprout at the thought.
Dean looks over at me, batting his long false eyelashes at me. He grabs me by
the wrist, moving me in front of him so he can put the makeup on me. I don’t
know how he talked me into this, the two of us going to a Halloween dressed as
girls. But Dean pouted that sexy little pout of his and I agreed, letting him
dress me in this skin tight dress, place a long chestnut wig on my head, and
now my makeup.
There are catcalls as we walk into the party, and a few drunken look overs as
if wondering who the two of us are. We’ve barely gotten to the party and
already we’ve had to fend off drunk groping hands. Everyone here is dressed up
in one way or another, most of the girls as some sort of slutty something or
other.
By the end of the night Dean and I are stumbling into our room, both drunk,
kicking off the insanely high heels that Dean made us wear. Our makeup is
ruined, wigs lost in the crowd, and yet neither of us care. We fall into bed,
too exhausted for anything more than a few simple kisses.
We’re rudely awoke the next morning, our roommate blasting music outside our
bedroom door. I walk to it angrily, hungover and pissed at his antics. He grins
at me, handing me an envelope before turning and walking away, thankfully
turning off the music as he goes. I sit on the foot of the bed, open the
envelope and look down at the pictures that fall out. Dean and I from last
night, the two of us grinding against each other on the dancefloor, Dean’s hand
up my skirt, obviously fondling me.
I groan, turned on but in too much pain to do anything about it.
***** Chapter 29 *****
Day 29 - doing something sweet
I get home from class to find the apartment quiet, that’s something that never
happens. I can smell these amazing scents from the kitchen and walk in to see
Dean standing over the stove stirring a pot of something. He sees me, walks
over to me and kisses me softly, tenderly. He tells me to go take a relaxing
shower so I do, letting the warm water fall over my tired muscles.
I’m just about to start washing my hair when the shower curtain opens, Dean
climbing in behind me. He kisses me once more, taking the bottle of shampoo
from my hands, and begins to wash my hair. Dean hasn’t done that in years, not
since I was little, and the feeling of his hands on my scalp comfort and arouse
me in equal measure. After rinsing the soap from my hair we make love, gently,
tenderly, as if there is nothing more important than this moment.
We step out and Dean dries me off with a fluffy towel, kissing me in a way that
speaks volumes. There are clothes laid out on the bed and we get dressed,
before Dean leads me into the kitchen. He has me sit, bringing our meal to the
table. I want to question why he is doing this then I remember what day it is
and feel guilty that I totally forgot Valentine’s Day.
He seems to realize my thoughts, smiling and telling me that I’ve already given
him the best thing I possibly could, my heart. Dean can be such a sap
sometimes.
***** Chapter 30 *****
Day 30 - doing something hot
I wake up to feel Dean’s mouth wrapped around my cock, his head bobbing up and
down my length. I can’t help but moan, eyes locked on his as he stares back up
at me. I reach down, resting my head on the back of his head and he moans,
pulling off just long enough to tell me to let go, to just fuck his mouth.
I can’t help myself, when he asks like that, when he almost begs me to just go
at it it’s like I am a man possessed. I thrust up into his mouth, quick hard
thrusts that have him moaning around me, making me even more turned on. I pull
him off of me, telling him that I want to either come with him buried in me or
come buried in him. He grins at me, shoving me back onto the bed, giving me
that little wink. Before I know it he’s straddling my hips, sinking down onto
my cock, taking it all. He’s moaning my name, telling me how good I feel, how
right.
He rides me nice and slow, until both of us are trembling with the need to
come. I beg him to let me and he just smirks, holding out just a little bit
more before he relents and gives us what we both want. Our orgasms rip through
us, both of us coming almost at the same time. Dean collapses against my chest,
grinning at me. It’s one hell of a way to wake up.
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